Chubby Chaser

When we asked my construction foreman how he would describe my unique style of design, he answered instantly, “Oh, Ryan only likes FAT THINGS. He buys the fattest thing in any store!”

It took us a moment to figure out “heavy” is the real word he was looking for, and as we continued to talk, I realized that — in his mind — the common denominator between all the worldly things I’d been bringing him over the years was their RIDICULOUSLY HEAVY WEIGHT.

Early on in construction, after they’d lugged in huge palace pillars and a priceless antique door from Gujarat, I was incensed because they hadn’t yet installed any locks on the house.

My foreman said, “Ryan, who is going to steal this stuff? It took FOUR GUYS AND A BOBCAT to get these things in here and I had to pay my guys double just to do it! Thieves are usually not that coordinated, they’d more likely just run off with my nail gun.”